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Friday, 20 March 2009

I'm Rich!!! Biotch!!!

I am going to tell you a couple stories of my trip to the beautiful continent of Europe, the days I will hold dearly in my heart.

Story One : Barcelona, Spain

I was strutting down Las Ramblas and pointing using both my index fingers to every beautiful lady passerby while blinking with one eye and saying "EY". Out of the blue, I saw a silver dude in the middle of the street taking a dump. I never knew Barcelona had a toilet in the middle of the street with no walls in between, but I didn't see a toilet paper roller. Figured he needed a roll, so I handed the man the toilet paper I stole from my hostel for times like these.

I past Las Ramblas and saw a crowd in the corner of the street, so I walked over to take a closer look. It was a a guy with a cardboard box as a table, three shells, and a pea. There were people betting money to guess which shell the pea would end up under. Man, what an easy way to win money. They should've had this game in Las Vegas. One person placed a 20 euro bet and bam, they guessed right and doubled their money back. Another bet and more money in their pocket. Geez, like taking candy from a baby. I asked to join the game and put down 50 euros. I put the bet down for the left shell and he lifted the shell with the pea underneath. Yes!! I'm rich!! Biotch!! I remembered once that my mom needed a pair of shoes so I put down another 50 euros. He raised the shell and no pea underneath, no, it was under the other shell. What? I could've sworn? Alright, try again. 50 euros please. What?!? No pea! I gotta get my money back, 50 euros. %&#@, no pea! Couple more tries and I was suddenly down 50,000 euros. No, not really, about 200. I hate Barcelona!

Story Two: Naples, Italy

Wow, how did people live in such a place covered in ash, I thought after leaving Pompeii. Man, I always sweep my New York apartment floor, but those people from Pompeii just let peices of Mount Vesuvius all over their floor. As I was going to the train, these guys asked if I wanted to buy some phones. Man, those were nice phones with camera's and everything. This was 2003, not very wide spread in the US at the time. I asked how much? He said 200 euros. This dude was crazy and I walked away. He tried to bargain some more and said 100 euros. I told him I'd only get it for 40 euros and the sucker accepted. What a loser so my friend and I got one for the each of us. The guy offered to put the phone in the box and a bag for the train ride. It was a nice white box he put the phones in and gave us the bag. We walked and was almost to the train station when my friend wanted to see the phones. I opened the box and saw a black peice of cheese. Wow, when did we buy a peice of cheese? I examined the box some more and saw no phones in the box. What happend? I could've sworn he put the phones in there, I saw him. What kind of black magic is this?

To this day I think Criss Angel is a douche.

Those were the stories I would never forget and hope everyone does not go through the same experiences as I have. Please share any experiences you've had similar to mine and sarcastically over exaggerate if you need to like I did.

Tuesday, 24 January 2006

Thanks to Tony, I know what I did on my trip in China.

http://www.tonyapril637.com/ch/

Adventures of Ham and Balogne

just a tad bit of what went on...

Day 1
Nam Arrives in HK and arrives hella late... but no worries he didnt get lost in the metro

Day 2 HK
- Biggest "outdoor" buddha
- Vegetarian Monestary Food
- HK Convention center ( Where they filmed "new police story" by Jackie Chan")
- Lan Kwai Fung St ( Bar area of HK)
- Eat some good Doner at turkish rest.
- Temple St. Market (Hong Kong's Night Markets)

Day 3 Macau
- Take "5min." ferry to Macau
- Eat some good tradition Macanese food... forgot what i ate though
- See Leal Senado Square... Portugese architecture in China... interesting
- Check out the Ruins of St. Paul
- Museum of Macau inside Monte Forte
- Lisboa Casino... show Nam the "xiaojie" area and gamble a bit chinese style
- Get some Pho!!!! hard to find in China
- See Pak Lamb statue
- Macau Tower
- Sky jump!!!! highest sky jump in the world... nice little thrill (punched nam in the nuts while freefalling* =/)
- meet up with April and Sen and check out the bar area and do some boggieing down

Day 4 HK--> Shenzhen
- sleep in from partying all night
- Go to HK Island
- Philippines Festival
- See Victoria peak using HKs oldest ever tram
- Meet up with Rita
- Times Square HK
- Coffee Shop
- GO to SZ
- Check out the "barber shops"
- see China's ghettoness at night
- eat some cheap chinese food

Day 5 SZ ---> Guangzhou
- see DiWang Dasha (tallest SZ sky scrapper)
- See pictures of Deng Xiao Ping that is worshiped by all SZners
- Dongmen Shopping Center... buy winter clothing and show Nam how to bargain for reals
- come back and pack for GZ
- take train to GZ and get off the most dangerous train station in China

Day 6 Guangzhou ---> Tung Xi ---> Tang Kou ---> Huangshan ( Mountain that are in most of the Chinese paintings)
- take flight to Tungxi, Anhui Province
- take some ghetto mini bus to Tang Kou with country side Chinese
- See hawkers in Tang Kou and leave our luggage at a hotel
- Take cable car up to the easter side of Huang Mtn.
- Hike to our hotel
- Hike to a nice spot to see the sunset
- snow all over the mtn... sweet view

Day 7 Huangshan --> Tangkou --> Yixian ( Hongcun & Xidi) ---> Shendu
- wake up hella early and walk up "Brightness Peak" to see the sunrise
- Hike several other peaks "soo many asians"
- met some aussies
- Narrow Trail... ( 80 degrees down and narrow and icy, HECK no... scarriest trail ever)
- Lotus Peak closed...ARG
- Lock our "Tony Nam & April" lock on Jade Peak
- Cable car on western steps
- Tangkou to Hongcun ( one of the oldest villages around China)
- Hongcun to Xidi (old emperors town)
- Xidi to Shendu ( Craziest and scariest taxi experience into remote China )
- Dinner with the locals

Day 8 Shendu ---> Qiandaohu (Thousand Island Lake) ---> Changan ---> Hangzhou ---> Shanghai
- Take boat to see the thousand islands
- get off @ Changan and get our mustache's done
- Changan bus to Hangzhou
- eat at "Old Uncle" in Hangzhou and see civilization again
- take the train to Shanghai and get off at "warwick"
- hotel hopping until we reached Fumao

Day 9 Shanghai
- Go to the Urban Planning Center of Shanghai
- Go to the modern Art Museum of Shanghai
- See Nanjing Lu shopping market
- "The Bund"
- underground sea experience "heaven & hellll"...ohhh
- Walk around the Bund area
- Go to bar district on the west side of Shanghai
- Nam and April sings with the DJ..haha...dice game and pole dancing

Day 10 Shanghai ---> Beijing
- April leaves to meet up with her mom in HK
- See the Museum of Shanghai... too many bronze pieces
- dinner at UBC Caffee with nice soft coaches
- go to train station and get ready for a 14 hour "hard sleeper" train ride to Beijing
- try to exchange tickets from being scared of the hard sleeper
- sleep on the top bunk and eat tomatoes with some random chinese

Day 11 Beijing
- See Tian'anmen square
- Forbidden City
- meet Sophia and see her art gallery
- Shaolin Warriors Show

Day 12
- Great Wall of China @ Badaling
- Tourist Trap # 1 - Jade Factory
- met David from Hunan (english teacher)
- Ming Tomb
- Tourist Trap # 2 - Dried foods etc
- quickie lunch
- Ming Dynasty Museum
- Tourist Trap # 3 - Doctor Check up
- Pick up Skiing Tickets
- eat at Yong He Can... Chinese version of KFC

Day 13 Beijing ----> Lianhuashan (Lotus Mtn.)
- take bus 918 to go to Lotus mtn for some snowboarding
- overcome the rails at the small park
- jump trail toooo slow...arg
- play with the frozen lake
- go back to Beijing and pick up Xian tickets
- Hang out at Hai Bei Lu, Bar district of Beijing
- dance and talk with some local Beijing girls outdoors

Day 14 Beijing ---> Xian
- see the Emperors Summer Palace
- almost fall into the frozen lake...close one!
- hurry back to hotel
- taxi driver switches my real 100 bill with fake one and argue for 10 minutes...flip him off and left with our change
- take airport express shuttle to Capitol Airport
- Arrive in Xian
- airport shuttle to Xian... best customer service ever...help us find cheap hotel and takes us there
- Walk into the Xinjiang night district and eat some sick Lamb...eww

Day 15 Xian
- snowing snowing snowing
- see Qing ancient items
- see the Qing Wax/Eqyptian Museum
- wow... Terra-cotta warriors is reallly huge...only 20% dug up..huge pits
- Qing Hot Springs...very nice palace with snow everywhere and hot springs
- eat at HK restaurant in Xian
- tired...long days...

Day 16 Xian ---> Guilin ----> Yangshuo
- walk to the Bell Tower
- watch "A Chinese Tall Story"... what the hell went on in this movie
- catch taxi to Airport...running late again!
- fly to Guilin
- met Antony and take a cab with him to Yangshuo
- check into the faulty towers hotel
- eat on "Xi Lu" at Coffee shop and I get food poisen

Day 17 Yangshuo -----> Shenzhen
- i crap like no other
- Bike to country side
- take bamboo raft down the Yi River
- Bike to small restaurant in the middle of no where
- Hike to the peak of Moon Mountain
- Bike back to the city
- watch Comaren Fisherman fish using Birds
- Long bus ride back to Shenzhen
- ppl throw up on the bus... nam has to piss... and my stomach hurt

Day 18 Shenzhen
- finally back to my crib and we get to shower
- Change out of our non-washed clothing
- shop at Dongmen and Nam gets crazy into shopping
- eat Pizza Hut for dinner
- get cheap Foot Massages
- Nam gets packed up for the US

Day 19 Shenzhen.... to be continued
- go check out the "Red District" in Shekou
- Nam takes ferry back to HK Airport

Tuesday, 21 June 2005

Damn it... Got to start studying for the test today.

Saturday, 02 April 2005

Thank you Mitch for entertaining us for all these years. We enjoyed our nights at the IMPROV with you.

"An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an Escalator temporarily out of order sign, just Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience."

"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. Those fuckers are relentless."

"I would imagine if you understood Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy."

Friday, 18 March 2005

Hello everyone,
I hope everyone is doing well. Anyone want to fill in for me at work? Forever? Call me if you are interested; you'll be your own boss as well.

Sincerely,
Nam Nguyen